Auburn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe_rPBDFjxM
i believe in me. do you believe in me?

this past weekend, i lived in the hallway of a church office in auburn, alabama. the girls slept with the other girls at lauren's apartment. the guy we drove with, gustavo, and i slept two nights in the empty office building of journey church. i had a mattress pad and a sleeping bag and instead of sleeping with the other guys in the main room, i chose to stay in the hallway, so i could rest alone without the awareness of snoring and shuffling. in that hallway, while everyone was sleeping, i watched the above video and then i watched the second half of lsu-auburn on espn360. this was the night of the game. i had thrown my voice away in jordan-hare stadium. there were so many people. and i was back to this cramped hallway so very alone and a throat so sore it couldn't power my vocal chords. then i thought about the game and fell asleep.
i don't know very much what happened to myself while i was in auburn, but it very much changed me. seeing a city being filled to its brim with sports was somewhat disgusting, but altogether very remarkable. it was a tragedy to see the city overflow past the brim only to fall and spill out entirely. i am still spilling out, and i can't think of anything else. it's a lot like the dark knight. these moments of entertainment driven by such deeper meaning have so much strength, and i am just overpowered. this whole weekend was in passive voice. i did nothing. i did nothing but i am so insanely different. three feelings: walking up the steps of jordan-hare stadium was like ascending into heaven. gustavo told us that when he woke up in the middle of the night, he saw that one of the guys we stayed with had a gun lying next to his bag and it made sense. i once prayed to god for lsu to score, during the game i found myself praying to god for lsu to only learn in their hearts how to score. i omitted a lot, especially on the side of detail, but the point is that i have no idea.