dear jordan,

thank you.

not even those times when i found you asleep as i came home. not even those nights when you drove me down 41, numb to how close we would become. not even that day you called me from russia and i was in the elevator. not even the minute i cried when you hung up. or those days when we laid at the beach. none of them compare to this. this feeling that i finally found you. this sudden closeness that has rushed through my heart and around my body. as if you were standing inches from me. and as if you always had been, but i had never noticed. i loved you. i forgave you. i released.

and i realized that for the past months, no one has cared with as much passion and grace as you have. you have done everything for me. for the past few months, i had listened. but until now, i hadn't heard you. i want to hear more. and more. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for the hard times i give you. you're doing so much good in such a great way, and it was difficult to acknowledge and it was truly a fight to push through. but i feel free now. i want to hear.

i understand if this apology has come too late for you, but please forgive me. there is hardly anything better in my life than your commitment to our relationship. i never want to lose you again, and i know i won't. thank you for staying with me, jordan. i'm so happy. i love you so much. from the bottom and the top of my heart, i wish you a happy holiday and a wonderful new year. let's share our resolutions?

paolo